Dear Daughters

``We are daughters of our family and our family has never discouraged us. However, relatives and people visiting our family press them for having a son. We never feel that we don’t have brothers. But society makes us feel,’’ a professor at an Amritsar-based college said while breaking down.

Well, you might be thinking what I am writing about and might have guessed also. Its tit-bits from a seminar where female foeticide practice was being discussed.

It’s a depressing situation that we have to start with discussions and spread awareness on stopping female foeticide. A situation of apathy and misled conscience has turned our own country, which ironically worships female goddesses, being termed as a country where girl children are killed.

Girl students of this particular college were shocked to read a column from a leading newspaper saying we don’t kill cats and dogs to the extent we kill our daughters.

``My fellow friends in other states ask me why are we killing our girl children. I have no answers,’’ Dr Baljit Kaur, who also happens to be only daughter and has performed her father's funeral, said.

Dr Baljit Kaur is a surgeon with Civil Hospital here.

She was a marvel when she asked daughters – the only daughters of their families – to come on stage and narrate their experiences, which led way to appalling answers.

The first para of the text is what it came out. The girls were confident of not missing brothers but eventually concerned what will happen to their parents when they are married off. ``Who will take care of my mother?’’ asked a girl with tears gleaming in her eyes.

Some of them showed courage while some simply broke down. Even the professors – the only daughters of their family – could not stop their tears.

Why is it so that we don’t require girl children? Even I could not find any answer. But eventually the so-called society and its norms where son performs religious rites and an additional burden of dowry has made the girl child `unwanted’ in our world.

The college principal was courageous enough to say that people require sons to conduct rites. ``But why don’t we stop marriages of boys who don’t have sisters? (Sisters in Punjab, in India as well, play in important role in marriages as they perform several functions). We continue the marriage but has anyone raised an objection? No, then why not to boycott these marriages held without sisters?’’ she had a point.

She also narrated her experience in Iraq, which also has less sex ratio. ``There girls ask boys to bring dowry in marriage. Girls keep their choice-list before boys, which after being fulfilled, marriage is solemnized,’’ she said.

On the lighter side, she narrated her helper’s story, who was 35-yr-old. ``When I asked him about his marriage, he said the girl has asked for a bungalow, a car and huge chunks of gold. My bungalow and car is in place, I am working for collecting gold, was his answer,’’ she said.

The irony is that we are still bound with the chains of so-called religious beliefs. I fail to understand why a mother cannot stay with her daughter? And t

he professors were asking girl students to clear this particular point before they marry or simply reject the proposal.

However, relationships cannot be based on conditions. There is a need of proper grooming amongst children – not as boy or girl – but as children. May be then we may respect both of our parents, not for the sake of show but with an innate respect.

Somehow, we still require to grow – grow as a society and get out of those unwritten code of ethics, which is making us commit such heinous crimes. Well, don’t you feel so. Another aspect to ponder.

Meanwhile, another newly born was found dead and left to stray dogs in Amritsar. The

baby's sex could not be indentified as half of the body was found eaten up. But i can vouch it was a girl child.

C ya then